Delighting in Your Children
By Sophia Lewis
Collin and I recently went to a worship night in D.C. with some of our friends at a pretty large church. Before the worship time started, one of the pastors came out to give a few announcements about things that were happening at their church. As he made these announcements, he got to one about some kids’ camps that they were offering. He then proceeded to say something along the lines of, “Let’s be real. We have to find something to send these ‘things’ off to during the day.” My mouth dropped open as I looked over at Collin in astonishment that he would say such a thing.
To be honest, I wouldn’t have been surprised if someone who is not a believer in Christ had said this because, in our culture today, children can be seen as something negative, a nuisance, in the way, or as a burden. I was more astonished in this instance because the Bible makes clear how precious children are, and the pastor was not portraying them from a biblical perspective but from a worldly one.
Since that day, I have been thinking on delighting in my children more and praying for the Lord to show me and teach me the truths in His Word regarding this. I think this starts right back at the beginning with creation. When God created the earth, He pronounced after each creation, “It was good.” However, when He made people, there was a significant difference compared to the rest of creation, the most significant one being that He made male and female in His image. The Creator of the universe (Genesis 1:1), the King of Kings, the Lord of Lords (1 Timothy 6:15), the only One worthy of all honor and praise and glory (Revelation 4:11), whose ways are higher than our ways and whose thoughts are higher than our thoughts (Isaiah 55:8–9). We, people on this earth, were created in HIS image. We are able to have relationships, thoughts, willpower, emotions, and so forth. I can’t help but feel unworthy of being made, even slightly, in His image. And yet, this is what He did. Man is also the only creation that was given dominion over other creatures to rule and is also the only creation where God blessed them (Genesis 1:26–28). Creating man was the last thing God wanted before stating that creation in its entirety was not just “good,” but “very good.”
That leads us to the question, “Why?” Why did God create man? Why did He create our children? The answer is found in Isaiah 43:7: “…whom I created for my glory.” Delight in your children because God, the Creator of the universe, has created them in His image for His glory. Wow, what a privilege that God has entrusted you with the task of raising these children for His glory! May we never lose sight of that. Praise the Lord!
There is also no other creation that God has made that He explains in intricate detail how He created besides His creation of people! Psalm 139:13-16 states, “For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works: my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.” The most exalted, glorious, and holy being to ever exist formed and knitted your children, and they are fearfully and wonderfully made! God didn’t just stop at creating them but also planned out every detail of their life before they were even born. How precious they are! The Psalmist understands this and states how he praises the Lord for this creation! Delight in your children because God has formed and knitted them together, and they are fearfully and wonderfully made. Praise God for your children and be a joyous mom like the Psalmist states in Psalm 113:9, “He gives the barren woman a home, making her the joyous mother of children. Praise the LORD!”
In Genesis 33, we see the account where Esau is meeting his brother Jacob’s family for the first time. Verse 5 states, “And when Esau lifted up his eyes and saw the women and children, he said, ‘Who are these with you?’ Jacob said, ‘The children whom God has graciously given your servant.’” Children are seen as good again and again according to the Bible. They are a gift from God (Psalm 127:3), and you are blessed if your quiver is full of them (Psalm 127:5). James 1:17a states, “Every good and every perfect gift is from above.” Delight in your children because God has graciously given you this gift. They are a gift to you from God Himself. Praise the Lord!
But how do we delight in our children?! The majority of the time, I wake up before my kids do to spend time reading my Bible and praying. However, there are some days where I either wake up late or my kids will wake up earlier than normal. On days like this, I normally will get their breakfast made for them, a cup of water, a napkin, and anything else they might need. Then I tell them that I am going to go read my Bible and pray, and they need to play after they finish eating breakfast. I make it a priority to tell them that it’s important for me to read my Bible and pray because the more that I love Jesus and spend time with Him, the better mom I will be to them.
Matthew 22:37–39 states, “And he said to him, ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’” The greatest commandment we can follow is to love God with all our heart, soul, and mind. When we love God most, we can love others best because of the work that Christ is doing in our lives. When we believe in the gospel, God has completely transformed us as a new creation. He states in Ezekiel 36:26–27, “And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit within you and cause you to walk in my statutes and be careful to obey my rules.” We no longer live for ourselves but for God. The Holy Spirit will convict us of sin and help us walk in His ways (John 16:8). When we fall short, God promises to always forgive us when we come to Him (1 John 1:9). The more we love God, the more we will love others, especially our children, since we are around them most. Bobby Jamieson states in his book on Ecclesiastes, “You can enjoy created goods most when you love God infinitely more. You can love limited goods safely when you love the unlimited one supremely. You can enjoy fleeting blessings as fully as you should when you seek fullness in the only unfleeting one.” Delight in your children by loving God more! Praise the Lord!
How does delighting in your children look in a practical day-to-day scenario? It’s teaching your children His Word (Deuteronomy 6:7). It’s teaching your daughters the importance of Titus 2 and Proverbs 31. It’s teaching your sons the importance of 1 Timothy 6. It’s disciplining them out of love (Proverbs 13:24). It’s enjoying them today and not waiting for tomorrow (Ecclesiastes 5:18–20). It’s being slow to anger and quick to listen (James 1:19). It’s thanking the Lord for your children and praying for them (Philippians 1:3–4). It’s spending intentional time with them like our heavenly Father wants us to spend time with Him (Psalm 147:11). It’s dying to yourself every day like Christ did for us to now live for Him by serving our children (2 Corinthians 5:14–15). It’s asking them for forgiveness when you mess up (Colossians 3:13). It is meditating on His Word and recognizing that “from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be glory forever. Amen” (Romans 11:36).
I’ve been trying recently to spend more intentional time with my kids doing things that they enjoy, even if I don’t necessarily enjoy them. All three of my sons love fishing and camping a lot! I recently went on a “mom and sons” camping trip with them because I knew it would bring them a lot of joy, it would give us intentional time together in God’s creation, and it was an opportunity for them to exercise their roles of being the provider and protector.
My oldest son, Alvin, took care of building a fire, cooking the food, and fixing my fishing pole every time I got it snagged or lost my line. Eli helped me with my fishing pole as well and also prayed for us while we were out there. Judah helped find sticks for the fire and pretty much stayed by my side the entire time.
While we were out in the wilderness, I enjoyed watching Alvin step up as a leader and set up camp. He was also very patient with Judah, who couldn’t stop asking questions. I enjoyed Eli and how quick he was. He couldn’t walk anywhere; wherever he went, he would run. I enjoyed how Judah wanted to catch a fish but then got distracted and wanted to climb a mountain instead.
I don’t particularly “love” camping. It can be uncomfortable, dirty, and tiring with a lack of sleep. I would much rather be in my bed at home, all clean, and sleep soundly underneath the comforter on my bed. However, I wanted to do something that would be uncomfortable for myself in order to bring joy to my sons, to spend intentional time with them doing something they enjoy, and for them to exercise qualities that we have been teaching them from God’s Word. These things were more important than me being comfortable in my home. Overall, the camping trip was a lot of fun, and everything went really smoothly. I was able to thank the Lord for the different gifts my sons each have, and I pray they will use these qualities for His glory. This was an opportunity for me to delight in my sons.
Collin is currently in seminary and has two weeks out of the year where he needs to attend in-person seminars. While I’m currently writing this, it is one of the weeks that he’s in Louisville, Kentucky, for a seminar, and I got to come with him. Our kids are with family members back home in West Virginia. Before coming, we asked our two oldest daughters, Ezzy and Maddy, if they would be okay staying with my brother Andrew and my sister-in-law Candace for the week. Their immediate response was excitement and enthusiasm, while the first thing they genuinely blurted out was, “We can help them with their kids, and clean, and cook for them!” Their sweet, kind, and enthusiastic responses immediately went to how they would be able to serve Andrew and Candace.
I took this opportunity to be intentional with teaching the girls different skills regarding this. We sat down in the afternoon when the little ones were taking a nap, had an afternoon tea, and did a devotional in Colossians 3. We talked mostly about serving others for the Lord. Then I gave them a budget, and they meal-planned meals that they could make for Andrew and Candace and their kids while they stayed with them. I had meal-planning sheets I was able to give them, and they planned out the whole thing. It was a really sweet time, and I was able to delight in my daughters.
In a culture that can see children as negative, a nuisance, in the way, or as a burden, let’s see them through the eyes of the Lord instead, through His Word. Love the Lord above all else; love others because of your love for Christ. Let the Holy Spirit lead you each day. Ask the Lord for help and for forgiveness when you mess up. Delight in your children even when it’s hard or uncomfortable. Remember, they are made in His image for His glory; they are formed and knitted together by God and are fearfully and wonderfully made, and they are a precious gift from God. Delight in this gracious gift. Praise the Lord!